No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
