so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
