I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
