I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize