i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
