my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I need to stop coming to work sober
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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