Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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