we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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