The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
