never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
