We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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