she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
