Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
