paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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