She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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