3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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