I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
