I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
