so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
