Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
