I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
