i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
