Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize