11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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