i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize