Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
