I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
