genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
