Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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