did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
