Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
