I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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