omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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