im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
