he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
