what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
