omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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