I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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