you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
