I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
