Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
