you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
