I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
