I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize