He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
