She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
