I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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