well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
