I cannot find my penis.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
