I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
