I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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