she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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