We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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