Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
