im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
