Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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