What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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