you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
