A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?