fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.