I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
